Although the memorial flowers, pictures, crosses and candles are no longer present at the entrance to the Hedingham neighborhood, the aftermath of Raleigh's mass shooting is still very vibrant for the families of the victims.
"Everyday, everyday, everyday I see her lying on the porch, Sami lying on the porch, Lynn lying on the sidewalk," said Tracey Howard.
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He was running errands on Oct. 13, 2022, when a gunman opened fire in the neighborhood, killing five. Howard's wife, Nicole Connors, and her dog, Sami, were among the victims.
Neighbor Lynn Gardner was badly injured, spent months in the hospital and is now recovering.
"I think about it everyday," Howard said, this week, almost a year after the attack.
"I wonder, you know, little things, like if they stayed at dinner 10 min longer, if they took a longer walk with dogs, they might still be here."
Howard returned home to unthinkable horror. Gardner was lying nearly lifeless; Connors was dead, shot in the face, neck and stomach, as was Sami, her beloved 13-year-old Yorkie; bullet holes were sprayed throughout the home's siding.
Howard has since left that home, where he and Nicole lived next door to the alleged shooter, Austin Thompson and his family.
He says Thompson’s family tried to apologize to him after the massacre.
"I just, you know, told him I didn't want to talk to him right now," Howard said. Since that time, Thompson has been charged with five counts of murder and his father, Alan Thompson, is charged with failure to secure a firearm in a way that his son could not get it.
Howard and Connors would have celebrated their six-year anniversary in September 2023. Howard lit a candle and bought flowers, placing them next to a big photograph of his wife that he keeps close in his new home.
"I miss the companionship that was my friend, my best friend," he said.
"I look at it and talk to her, though the picture. Sometimes I want to call out to her."
Howard said he'd dedicated the move to a new home to his wife and is trying to move forward.
"I don't think she would want me laying around sulking and crying everyday. I have to keep going. It's all I can do," he said.